WANTING

I have a question for you.

Do you know what you want?

Not the things.  Those are more the symptoms, the clues, those things that we want. 

When I do vision boards with groups, especially, but even with individuals, and people start to cut out photos – they always go for the things.  The fancy car, the diamond ring, the shoes.  Lots of shoes! Maybe the handbag or a cruise ship, or even a lovely home tucked into a perfectly landscaped garden.  And I don’t stop them.  Not for a little while.

And then we pause. And I ask a simple question.

How do you want to feel?

And that changes the mood in the room – a lot.  Shoulders drop, breath sighs, eyes wander a bit and then light up.

Wanting.

It’s far more about how we want to feel.  The things? Those are just symbols, really.  Perhaps you want to create music, though no one else would know that because you hold that wanting deep inside. And that handbag you found in the glossy magazine? Well, it’s one you saw your favorite singer carrying at an awards show.  So it symbolizes, to you on a subconscious level, a successful singing career. 

Maybe you want to feel successful, maybe you really desire a creative life.  Maybe you want to tour the world and have adoring fans show up all lit up at your concerts. 

In order to know what you want, you’ll need to take some time. You’ll need to listen to the voice deep inside you, maybe spend a bit of time with the five-year-old you. And most importantly, you’ll need to discard your collection of thoughts and rules about who you should be.  You’ll need to meet the inner critic and the part that believes “life is hard and then you die”, the one who has internalized all the limits society places on you due to your gender, your sexuality, the colour of your skin. 

Here's the truth about wanting.

We believe that we get what we want through the external: our parents, partners, children, teachers, students, bosses and staff. We look for it on social media and at school and in church and believe if we can just follow the rules and play the game just right then we will be happy, and life will be good.

I believe it’s about something else.  Wanting is a thread we can follow, a path we can take to figuring out what we came here to do.  Who we are really meant to be.  And it can show us a whole new way to do life. To be human. 

So,

What do you want?

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