REFUGE

I feel, given all that is going on right now, all over the world, that I should start this post in an almost Biblical way.

 Something like:

My good people, I send you my greetings and much love to you, wherever you may be, in these dark and foreboding times.

But rather let me start by saying that I trust you are well, because I do. Truly.

We were, whether it feels like it or not, built for these times. In fact, many of us were literally born to help humankind propel themselves forward, to assist those who are destined to stay in rising from the ashes of the mess generations of people have made on this wondrous planet.

And I want to remind you that you are only human, after all.  It is essential that you care for yourself – that is your job and no one else’s. 

One of my favourite aspects of self compassion is something I don’t often see discussed yet it makes space for both a feeling of safety and a connection with all that lies beyond our conscious world. Something that we need, in. my humble opinion, more than ever lately. 

It is refuge.

I don’t think we think about this aspect of life consciously very often. Some of us, maybe most of us, do it subconsciously and perhaps in misguided ways.  You might call it self soothing and it might look like “worldly pleasures” or “indulgences” – even spoiling yourself.  When we are tired or hurt or confused, unsure of ourselves in any way, we turn towards things like chocolate, alcohol, sex.  Something that distracts us from the pain and makes us feel a bit better – like giving a child a lolly when they’ve had an injection at the doctor.  It’s a pattern of behaviour we start young and often never drop.

Refuge, though, is something different – and I believe it is a neglected aspect of being human, all too often. Taking refuge, in Buddhist terms, can mean a prayer practice like ukuphahla in African traditions.  For those of us who are churchgoers, similar comfort is found in the liturgy each Sunday, as you’d find in Judaism and other religions, or in repeating certain traditions for Easter, Passover or Ramadan each year. Human beings like ritual, and it is more and more lacking in our lives, sadly.  Once upon a time, the cycles of the moon kept us in rhythm with the earth and the planets, now we rely on Apple watches and astro apps on our phones.

I’d like you to consider this an invitation to look at the ways you find refuge in other ways, throughout your days.  For me, painting or creating sculpture allows me to float free of the latest crises in the world (or in my own life) and connect with all that lies beyond what I can see with my own eyes.  So does a walk in the forest, or on the beach, or even better, tracking wildlife through the South African bush.

And then there are words.  I taught myself to read at a very young age and haven’t stopped since.  Rumi, Rilke, Hafiz, all the ancients spoke to me once I outgrew Winnie the Pooh, Little Women and Curious George.  To know that someone who lived long before you were born felt the way you felt, well there’s a huge amount of comfort in that, isn’t there? 

The words below are ones I have never outgrown and feel like a new blessing each time I read them.  I hope they will bring you peace, comfort and a strong sense that you belong here, just as you are.  

Because you do.

Desiderata

Written by Max Ehrmann, 1927

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

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